/What Can I Do When I Find My Adorable Children Annoying?
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What Can I Do When I Find My Adorable Children Annoying?

I love my children and can’t spend enough time with you – or can I?

When I have three weeks of vacation behind me, in which I have been together almost continuously with the kids, I can look back on 99% great experiences and impressions. But – let’s face it – there are also moments in such a time when children are annoying.

Does that make me a bad father?

There are men for which this sense of being annoyed is a permanent state. They love your children but when they are with them they feel constantly annoyed. This was written to me by a reader who thought it could be a worthwhile topic for the blog, because there are certainly more men who do it.
OK – but where is the problem?

If you find yourself in this situation again, it is important to find out where the problem lies.

Is it really the children or is it the problem yourself?

Unfortunately, there is very little help on this subject, information and books. Why only?

It is certainly not easy to admit that your own children are constantly annoying you. When you are with them you wish to be away, you are gone, you wish to be with them. Not an easy situation and whoever does it, will certainly not boast with his feelings at the next parents’ evening or over beer with the pals.
If you’re annoyed by your child, it’s often due to something else
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What’s behind it?

This feeling of being annoyed is a sign of your body that you have reached a border. And getting to your own limits is a taboo subject. Safe for men and all the more so for fathers.

Soberly considered, the feeling that when your children annoy you is nothing more than a sign that your own needs are being neglected.
Women and children first…

What was already true on the Titanic also applies in our father’s life. Almost automatically, we always put the needs of our family at the forefront. First the children, then the woman and then if there is anything left, you.

This will go well for quite some time, but those who do not pay attention to all areas of their lives will quickly pay the price.

What’s not going so well with you right now? If you had to distribute grades for your different areas of life, which areas would get a “deficient” or “insufficient”?

Do you have health or financial problems?
Are there tensions in the relationship or at work?
Do you have enough time for yourself?
Can you do it to do sports?

If you want to enjoy your children’s company instead of being annoyed with a bad conscience, go looking for the cause.

You will already guess: the cause is, in the rarest of cases, the children.

What if the children are annoying?
What if the children are annoying?

Category: Phase 2 (Your child is 3-6 years old)

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I love my children and can’t spend enough time with you – or can I?

When I have three weeks of vacation behind me, in which I have been together almost continuously with the kids, I can look back on 99% great experiences and impressions. But – let’s face it – there are also moments in such a time when children are annoying.

Does that make me a bad father?

There are men for which this sense of being annoyed is a permanent state. They love your children but when they are with them they feel constantly annoyed. This was written to me by a reader who thought it could be a worthwhile topic for the blog, because there are certainly more men who do it.
OK – but where is the problem?

If you find yourself in this situation again, it is important to find out where the problem lies.

Is it really the children or is it the problem yourself?

Unfortunately, there is very little help on this subject, information and books. Why only?

It is certainly not easy to admit that your own children are constantly annoying you. When you are with them you wish to be away, you are gone, you wish to be with them. Not an easy situation and whoever does it, will certainly not boast with his feelings at the next parents’ evening or over beer with the pals.
If you’re annoyed by your child, it’s often due to something else
Click to tweet
What’s behind it?

This feeling of being annoyed is a sign of your body that you have reached a border. And getting to your own limits is a taboo subject. Safe for men and all the more so for fathers.

Soberly considered, the feeling that when your children annoy you is nothing more than a sign that your own needs are being neglected.
Women and children first…

What was already true on the Titanic also applies in our father’s life. Almost automatically, we always put the needs of our family at the forefront. First the children, then the woman and then if there is anything left, you.

This will go well for quite some time, but those who do not pay attention to all areas of their lives will quickly pay the price.

What’s not going so well with you right now? If you had to distribute grades for your different areas of life, which areas would get a “deficient” or “insufficient”?

Do you have health or financial problems?
Are there tensions in the relationship or at work?
Do you have enough time for yourself?
Can you do it to do sports?

If you want to enjoy your children’s company instead of being annoyed with a bad conscience, go looking for the cause.

You will already guess: the cause is, in the rarest of cases, the children.
Make room for yourself

Knowing your needs is only half the price. Now it’s about creating space for you to meet these needs as well.

You may learn to be selfish without a bad conscience. Remember what you always hear on the plane.

“In case of pressure loss, oxygen masks fall out of the cover above you. Pull them to yourself and put them over your mouth and nose. Only then do you help fellow travellers.”

Why do you think so?

Sure, if you faint, you’re not a great help to any of the other travelers. You have to be fit, healthy and happy so that you can live with full steam for your family.
If the children are annoying – say it

No one has died of the truth yet, and especially children can handle open feedback well. So if you do something that annoys you again, just say it.

“Children I’m just a bit annoyed, can you please stop?”

Even the magic word “no” seems to be on the red list with us parents today. “No” is authoritarian and authoritarian is so 1970.

It’s nonsense. Of course, children prefer to say “no” than they hear it, but children still need a style of parenting that has clear limits and enforces them. A “no” is one of them.
And now?

If your children are more likely to annoy you than you think is normal, don’t blame yourself and forget the feelings of guilt. Instead, go looking for the reasons.

Start with you and when you’ve figured out what you’re missing right now – make room for it in your life.